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My first job was a drive through coffee shop called Quick Kava. I was the only non-female employee and my tips from the flirtatious Harley biker crew paled in comparison to my coed employees. It was right then and there I learned how good women had it in the workplace lol. I later joined the United States Navy looking to become a Fleet Admiral but only became an Aviation Airman before finding my exit point. I was reading books like How to Start Your Own Country and Think and Grow Rich. I finished top in my class in aviation electronics in Pensacola, Florida and then also in Aerial Refueling in Jacksonville, Florida. Once onboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, I had never become so bored in my life and I bore easily. I ended up making a documentary of life aboard a carrier. The only exciting thing was the length of my shift which was 6am to midnight. And the time I almost died from drinking too much Tequila in Tijuana.

When I left the Navy, I took the 126 hour work week with me. I spent my twenties trying to prove to the world that Andy Warhol and Michaelangelo were but footnotes to me as an artist and Shakespeare but a dog with fleas next to me as a writer. It’s actually true from an objective standpoint but who would believe these things, we’re trained not to believe these things. And what good is this skill anyway, we live in a world where pointless reboots of Spiderman and action movies where every character is a super hero, leaving no one to be mortal, and of course this is more important than socially and spirtually elevating sonnets masquerading as action-packed non-stop laugh track films on par with the greatest literature we’ve ever not seen. Duh. Obviously.

My #1 Most Viewed YouTube show was considered some of the best satire of all time and my screenplays were beyond the greatest films that would never see the light of day — ask any thinking, feeling person in the mid 2000’s to confirm that ascertion. Failure to make any revenue of any kind in such pursuits and anxious to be independent led me into the business world. Creating Amazon, Facebook, YouTube, MySpace, online takeout (essentially the Uber ride hailing and food taxi business) automated drive through’s, proximity based social networking with strangers, and many other major inventions you take for granted today (or that still haven’t ripened and been plucked from my collection of ideas yet) were also met with a lack of success and revenue for myself and so I started to aim lower. I started to narrow my search to creative concepts that also dirt cheap start up costs. That was the key to my success. I began e-commerce product launches at a total launch cost of 200 dollars and skipped advertising and leveraged the need for ecom giants to offer my products to their consumers. I then started becoming a famous retail CEO making the tops ranks of fastest-growing start ups year in and year out back to back, and growing multiple start ups from 0 to millions per month.

Now in a world of utter retail product saturation with our greatest wholesalers (the Chinese [ not to be too general ]) now going direct to our customers and copying all of our products, we at Global Specialty Products have decided to reinvent ourselves with products never before seen or created. My only wish is some more infrastructure and support so the next time I do come up with Uber or Apple or Patreon, I can actually make it happen.